How and where can you find happiness!

Facing reality

In our world we see people living with an array difficulty: illness, poverty, insecurity, pain, injustice, sadness through the loss of loved ones, tense relationships, harassment, abuse, depression and isolation. That is the reality of our world. Yet no one has chosen this misery by himself. Everyone strives for happiness and success. But that misery comes on our heads, often at an unexpected moment, and becomes a part of our lives.

Is it then real to seek happiness in life? And does anyone really live happily in this world?

Yes, surely. But with this introduction we want to face the truth and not outline unrealistic dreams.

People today have different approaches to achieve happiness. Through this site we shall discuss a few different approaches.

An approach

Many people take practical steps to live healthily. They exercise, eat healthy and watch their weight. They avoid tensions and try to escape from stress. And they remain friendly and helpful towards others. This recipe has a good chance of success to achieve a longer life, but is that the happiness we are looking for?

The (indigenous) residents of distant and isolated places, for example, often have many more benefits that people in the cities do not have. These residents have little contact with the modern world, which is why they are exposed to less stress and pressure. They are also exposed for less extreme pollution and therefore they have fewer diseases. They also usually eat from their own farms. Their food is healthy because they use fewer chemicals and pesticides and because they preform fewer processes on their food.

The mental health of those residents is also a lot better than the people in the cities. That is because of the social contacts and relationships they have. In those distant places, the old people do not live in isolation from society, in their homes or in a retirement home. In their culture, they remain involved with family, neighbours and acquaintances. In addition, life within these societies has less stress and tension. They do not have a crowded agenda, nor do they work overtime. So they have more time for relaxation or for taking care of the elderly. The presence of the elderly in the family is appreciated there.

The relaxation in the isolated places is a big advantage. The residents there, for example, do their daily exercise while working on the land, and sit in the evening to rest or enjoy with their acquaintances, while the people in the cities rush to the gym after their office work to do a sports session. They try to imitate life in the faraway places and as a result they get even busier and become tenser. They also live with certain rules and restrictions that the residents of the remote place do not know.

If we want to reap the benefits of that approach, then we really have to create more peace in our lives and maybe we should live in a quiet place, far from the hustle and bustle of the modern world. You can even go so far as to move (provided that the relevant tribe/people approve) to such a small society and accept their way of life as yours.

That works for some, who spend their time helping weak or poor people. They live next to the poor in remote areas and in their simple circumstances. In this way they get a useful place there in society and they are appreciated and accepted. In addition to the benefits of this approach, they get a sense of satisfaction by being helpful to others.

Other approaches

Today, many young people think that if they have more, they will become happier. For them, "having more" is synonymous with "being able to enjoy more", and thus becoming happy. This approach sees materialistic means as the road to happiness. This is almost the opposite principle of the previous approach.

But how do you get more possessions? A financial capital is required. Popularly: "be rich!"

There are different ways to get rich, for example by working hard. In this case, you must postpone enjoyment until you have sufficient assets.

Others think they should get the wealth quickly. That's why they steal or deal in drugs. And some others get the wealth unexpectedly, think of an inheritance or a lottery.

Another group thinks that being "famous" with many followers on social media and always being at the centre of attention is also a way of raising money and therefore being happy.

How do you define "happiness"?

From the examples above we see that there are different concepts or opinions for "happy life". We can sum this up in three aspects: enjoyment, feeling appreciated and being carefree.

"Enjoying" is a need of the body, "feeling appreciated" is a need of the mind and "being carefree" is staying away from anxiety and problems (eg. health and financial problems).

That is not difficult, is it?

The honest answer is: A happy life by only these three points is temporary or not feasible. Many people think that they can live happily through those three points and that is why they put the realization of those three aspects as their life goal.

But smart people, like you, don't have to waste time getting the experience themselves but can take advantage of the experiences of others. If you look at the people who have realized the three points, you will see that they are still missing something. The "ultimate happiness" is still missing. These three points are exactly what the rich celebrities have achieved. Yet many of them often feel so depressed and loneliness, that some commit suicide. Another group of celebrities is looking for a way out in drugs and alcohol. In 2018, in The Netherlands, 1829 suicides were committed.

Seeking happiness

Is the experience of the celebrities insufficient? We have more clarification for that by asking a few questions:

How and for how long do you want to enjoy? Do you enjoy the food? Can you enjoy that without compromising your health? Or do you enjoy watching the beautiful surroundings? Do you always want to sit in the same place, or are you always looking for a nicer place? Do you want to enjoy always in the same way, or do you want something new every day?

And do you want to live among people or far from everyone? If you want to live among people, why would they appreciate you? Why would they love you? What will you do for them? Do you perform a certain task? How much time and effort will you give that task or work? Does that task belong to enjoyment or is it boring? Is that task demanding or does it represent a heavy responsibility?

Finally: how can you actually live fear free? Will you never get sick? Do your loved ones never get sick? Who can guarantee that? Will you and your loved ones never die? Who can protect you and your loved one from all accidents? Are all the people around you perfect? Are they all satisfied with what you do and say? How long will they stay like this? Nobody wants anything other than what you want? Is there anyone jealous of you?

Don’t live in dreams, be wise, recognize the facts and don’t be misled. Only then you will make choices based on logic and common sense.

What are we still missing?

"Accepting" is what we are missing, being satisfied with what we have. That can be misunderstood. According to some, "accepting" is equivalent to "not having ambition" or "not striving for improvement."

If someone doesn’t see his purpose in life and position in the world clearly, the concept of "accepting" is often accompanied by something negative. That is, unfortunately, the image that our society has sketched in our minds. That is why some people choose to put an end to their lives sooner if difficulties arise, or seek refuge in drugs. This is the true face of this civilization. With these actions (suicide and self-sabotage) people declare "losing the courage to look for happiness".

How can we positively understand "accepting"?

We can do that only if we understand our position in this world.